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BDSM Dictionary: A-Z BDSM Terms Part-2
BDSM Lifestyle
The BDSM lifestyle is a way of living that involves incorporating BDSM into daily life. For those who live the lifestyle, BDSM is more than just an activity – it is often a part of their identity. As we mentioned in the definition of BDSM, relationships and community are an important aspect of BDSM, especially for those who live the BDSM lifestyle. Here are a few examples of the BDSM lifestyle: frequent BDSM play scenes, one or several established power dynamics with a partner, attending kinky events, and identifying strongly with a power dynamic role (Dominant, submissive, switch, etc.).
To give you a real-life example of someone who lives the lifestyle: Rae has a dynamic with her wife in which she is the Dominant and her wife is the submissive. They do not have a 24/7 dynamic but they have agreed upon several disciplines Rae’s wife follows to incorporate their dynamic in their daily lives: putting on and taking off Rae’s shoes every morning and night, never walking in front of Rae when entering a room or building, referring to Rae as “Mistress” when they are by themselves or in kinky spaces, and wearing a non-discreet collar in private spaces and a discreet collar in public.
Blackmail
Often carried out by a FinDom (financial dominant), the blackmail kink involves threatening a sub with exposure unless they pay a “ransom” (examples: money, gifts, and erotic activities), forcing the sub under the control of the Dominant out of fear. Exposure threats can include telling a sub’s family and friends about their kinks or posting humiliating pictures and videos online.
Blood Sport
Play that involves cutting with a knife, piercing with needles, or whipping until the skin bleeds. Bloodsport is an extreme but popular form of BDSM fun. In many situations, the sub may bleed when hygienic needles and staples are used to create attractive designs and subsequently removed.
Body Bags
A bag that fully or partially encloses the body. Body bags can be made out of a variety of materials such as neoprene, heavy rubber, leather, and canvas. Body bags are adored by submissives because they restrict the senses while cocooning them in a way that is comforting, helping them reach subspace. Dominants love body bags because they have total control of their submissives and all body parts, keeping their subs still while they’re busy! Some bags fully enclose the head while others leave it exposed – great for a bondage hood & bag combo.
Boot Worship
A fetish that involves a sexual attraction to boots. Boot worshippers often love to lick, caress, and kiss boots. Submissives especially enjoy worshiping the boots of Dominants.
Bottom
The person on the receiving end of BDSM play. The terms “bottom” and “submissive” are commonly confused as the same thing but there is a difference! A bottom refers to the recipient of play conducted by a top while a submissive is someone who consensually gives psychological and physical control to a Dominant (see Submissive)
Boundaries
An individual’s limits in a kink context. Boundaries are what you are and are not willing to do in play scenes, kink dynamics, and other things related to BDSM. Boundaries are crucial to both kink and BDSM. Boundaries must be clearly defined and adhered to before participating in any kind of BDSM activity. Boundaries are often discussed thoroughly in negotiations. Read more about BDSM safety in this guide!
Branding
Branding involves heating metal and stamping a symbol or initials onto the skin. Not just for farmers, BDSM practitioners also engage in this practice to mark their subs.
Breast Bars/Clamps
Two bars that may be adjusted to clamp breasts horizontally on both sides are called breast bars or clamps. They’re often used as a form of breast torture and are commonly made with stainless steel. The sensation can be heightened by adding a tug at the breasts or giving the breasts a good thwack with a crop!
Breath play
Extreme play that involves stopping someone’s breathing is called “breath play.” Hoods are often used for breath play, and some of the most commonly used gear includes latex hoods and gas masks designed specifically for breath play. This play should be researched thoroughly before engaging in it.
Bruises
BDSM doesn’t have to leave marks, but a heavy session can lead to noticeable bruises, especially if you beg for them! Be sure to get consent before giving someone bruises. Take care if your bruises are on show in the vanilla world – they might be difficult to explain.
Bullwhips
Bullwhips are long and thin, typically made of leather, and when they hit the flesh, they create stunning welts and a pleasurable crisp snap. Bullwhips are intended for experienced players and have the potential to seriously harm a sub.
